I used to sit on the 21st floor. Now I am retired

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Stick to Beer

Falstaff is having problems being a Tea-totaller. When we were together, he used to prefer C2H5OH to tea. I would suggest that he should switch back, instantly. To Beer.

You know, beer is similar to tea in many ways:
1) It is fragrant.
2) It is refreshing.
3) Liking the drink is a matter of acquired taste.
4) Acquiring the taste is as complex for beer as tea. Beer can be grassy, worty, cooked veg., powdery and burnt (amongst other qualities) while tea can be bakey, biscuity, burnt, flat, moldy, ragged or woody (amongst others).

However, beer is not really like tea and has many advantages:
  1. It is difficult to spoil beer*. I said difficult and not impossible. Once Maverick did manage to mix ice-cubes with the beer and thoroughly spoiled it. This was in the middle of summer and we didn't have any other way to cool the beer (so I forgive him).
  2. It does not require preparation. This does not mean that there is no ritual involved - Getting crispies, nuts, finger food, sitting in front of a TV to watch a game or under a shady tree on a hot day is preparation. But, none of these would seem like hard work. Compare this to the amount of work involved in mixing the right proportion of water and leaves, boiling it for the right amount of time and then serving in dainty little glasses.
  3. While the 'aroma' of tea being prepared leaves some sort of smell across the kitchen and sometimes intrusively wafts into a drawing room, most beer makers are more intelligent and equip the bottle with a narrow neck, thus not wasting the aroma on non-drinkers. However, if you insist on sniffing it, either pour it into a nice glass and take deep breaths or attend Oktoberfest.
  4. Beer comes in neat bottles or cans which can be sold to the raddiwala. I haven't heard of any raddiwalas willing to give Rs. 2 for each tea-bag or the carton in which it comes. Complete waste results.
  5. Moreover, if you are not into raddiwalas or giving back to society, the beer bottle can be used to grow money-plants. What can a tea-bag be used for?
  6. There is no Zakir Hussain reliving the same stale ad on television year on year.
  7. If it goes stale, it can be used on one's hair (ask Catherine Zeta Jones).
  8. Beer is better than both women and men. Tea is probably only better than a chipmunk or a hamster.
  9. Lastly, just compare the two photographs: Beer vs. Tea.



Beer's better than Tea. QED.

* though there are bad beers like Hayward 5000. But then there are bad teas as well.

10 Comments:

Blogger maverick said...

ice to maine mix kiya tha, waise idea kiska tha to go to coffee day and get ice-cubes to do the same??? tell tell.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:26:00 PM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

Now you are nitpicking! I think it was Dibyo's!! :-)

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:37:00 PM

 
Blogger Mr. D said...

i have to side with gumbo here, bro.. it was a collective boo-boo.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:38:00 PM

 
Blogger Mr. D said...

BASTARD! you were as much a part of it.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:39:00 PM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

it was a boo-boo and then gumbo didn't even use it as shampoo. remember the moldy glass that we had to clean a month later?

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:40:00 PM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

i agree that we were collectively responsible. but then, those who don't make mistakes, never make anything.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 11:49:00 PM

 
Blogger maverick said...

defensive hoye gyan dichhe je bor-da. all said, it was quite funny. i think all we managed was a sip each!!!

i had my own bottled-beer-shampoo which u took later btw. wasnt that just before u left for exchange? ;)

Friday, March 24, 2006 12:34:00 AM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

i returned the beer shampoo.. how long will you continue with this falsehood?

Friday, March 24, 2006 2:26:00 AM

 
Blogger Falstaff said...

Errr...dhoomk2, good point, but just to clarify (for the benefit of the general populace): when you say "when we were together" you mean "when we happened to be co-located on a consulting project as part of our jobs". Nothing more. In these post-Brokeback Mountain times, you can't be too clear.

Agree about the beer, of course. Not sure why the two choices are mutually exclusive though.

Friday, March 24, 2006 5:24:00 AM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

Tch-tch Falstaff, your comment almost bordered on the politically incorrect. But, I agree, it might be necessary. Btw, I had linked to your post to make it clear that the only adventures we were having concerned trains, buses, sumos and dry days.

Btw, I disagree with you on the mutually exclusive bit.

Not all of us have as ample a storage capacity as you carry with you, and hence, beer and tea do compete for the same space. :-)

I wish it wasn't so, but then my drinking life is full of choices.

Friday, March 24, 2006 5:40:00 AM

 

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