Happy Birthday, my friend...

... Happy Birthday to you.

He was one of my closest friends. To whom I owe a lot of my present.

Somewhere, down the line, we did get away from each other. Like most old friends of mine.

The path to my present is littered with possibilities.

He was one possibility I feel really bad about. All I needed to do was pick up the phone and say 'sorry'. Every day I waited, things became harder. I am unable to take the refuge of poetry. Hence, I will tell it like it is.

February 3, 2005

____,
We didn't need words between us. Not when we stared into each other's eyes on the Arc, and posed for the joke. You in your white shirt in the last burst of the Parisian summer, I wearing the pink. "Romeo, where art thou". Not when I broke up and you and D held me up that night in June. Not when we met after ages and connected like we were never away. We never needed words.

However, a few of your words I will always hold dear. "You still have it in you, Paunchy".

It was during the 'most troubled days'. You were with me, don't you remember? I had just sent the short story out to a few of you.

"Earlier, I could do this", I said. You replied instantly.

You were one of the few I could lean on in B-school. One of the few I have shared my most vulnerable parts with. Remember, the night in Milan! When I gave up on all, you held my hand and took me through.... Took me through the tough night and the placement process. :-) Fittingly, you were one of the first I hugged after I got the offer on Day-O.

And then, I didn't attend the most important day of your life. Don't ask me why. We never needed to explain ourselves to each other. Because we understood. Instinctively.

I thought I will leave a poem for you here. However, I posted the poem and took it off. CTRL-X after Select All. I felt that I was being watched. I also deleted your photo which I took the last time we met, scared that others might recognise what has gone between us, the last year.

However, I will let this page stay. Coming clean is the best I can do on your birthday.