I used to sit on the 21st floor. Now I am retired

Monday, July 17, 2006

An open letter in support of DOT

Dear Dot,
Your name is kind of small. However, your powers are large and I write this as a humble citizen of the great country you rule. Please, if I make any mistakes in this mail, don't send me to Andaman & Nicobar. That kind of thing hasn't been done in some years now.

Firstly, let me thank you for the opportunity to write a letter that I can't see after I write. I am a little old-fashioned you see. Remember those days when we used to write on paper and put it in an envelope, put some stamps and then put it into a letter box. I definitely remember those mails. Now, when I write this story on Blogger.com and can't see the same letter on Blogspot.com, I will get the same nostalgic feeling. Will forever remain in debt, or at least till your obviously well-intentioned ban on Blogspot remains.

I know some stupid detractors will talk about Bloglines and other aggregators. Let me assure you that those are new-fangled words that you need not worry about. In any case, you can ban them whenever you want. I know you have the power. You are He-man. You don't need any reasons. You are far more powerful than the Arjun Singh himself. You are mighty.

Secondly, I must also thank you for ignoring Livejournal and Wordpress. Those are second-rate platforms and I am happy that by banning Blogspot you have clearly showed that those other two platforms don't matter. Somewhere, Larry Page and Sergey Brin would be smiling a lot. Many, many thank yous from their side. May your sons get Google stock at a discount. The only crib I have is that you have also banned Geocities. It tells me that like the best of us, you are getting old. Geocities is so 1990s that it makes Madhuri Dikshit look young and virginal. I hope you will realise that. After all, not a single word of protest has been heard on Geocities block.

Thirdly, thanks for getting us to meet our brother bloggers from Iran, Pakistan and China. They have been facing Dots in their country for sometime now and have had to think creatively on various ways to make things interesting (After all, what fun will you have if I don't think of resisting?). Now, we can join them as well. Thank you again. You have driven the peace process forward in a way no bus or Prime Minister can do. You are more man than Musharraf himself.

Fourthly and lastly, you have shown Shivam Vij his place and made Falstaff meet Geocities. (Sorry!) We have tried for long to do both, but haven't been able to ignore the man or make Falstaff read any frivolous Geocities site. You have not only managed that, but even had lunch in between. Forever in debt.

I must also say that you have done all of this in the most nonchalant manner possible. Quite possibly, you haven't even told anyone why you want anything to be banned. Hence, your minions are phishing for excuses. Guessing rather badly at that.

Since the last time Ganguly hit an offspinner for a six over covers, such classy nonchalance hasn't been seen in India. And we all know how long back that was. Plus, you have gladdened the hearts of us Bongs by refusing to make off-hand comments (when you can swat the ball away for four instead). As Dravid said, "On off-hand, there is Dot God, then there's Ganguly).

I would keep on looking forward to more such entertainment. Blogspot is just a start. Go on get Google. Get Yahoo. Get Orkut (where Indian culture gets abused in the worst form possible). In fact, get back at all of us. Have you heard of the brazen folks at Wikipedia. No, no, taking printouts every hour and burning them won't do. Save it for Guy Montag. You go ahead and ban. For you can.
Yours truly,
Dhoomketu

Digg the story, please. And to work around the ban, go here or here. To follow the facts found till now, either go here or here.

Update 1: Greatbong learns similar lessons.

7 Comments:

Blogger Lady Writer said...

No comments yet? Sacrilege! Brilliant post. (Though you'd have to access it through pkblogs and its like to actually SEE it. If you'd like to keep the romance/ mystery alive, just take my word that it looks good.)

I'm assuming, of course, that this comment wil be emailed to you before our ever-vigilant DoT decides to block web-based email as well. Cheers.

Monday, July 17, 2006 11:50:00 PM

 
Anonymous the man said...

Fourthly and lastly, you have shown Shivam Vij his place and made Falstaff meet Geocities. (Sorry!) We have tried for long to do both, but haven't been able to ignore the man

how does one show the middle finger in text?

:)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:09:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dhoomketu

Please shut this nonsense. I am not DoT agent, but I think it is very stupid to speak about censorship in a relatively free country like India.

Give the authorities a chance to rectify their error. Dont make this such a big deal so soon. If they dont fix it quickly, please go ahead and write your long speeches.

Anon

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:21:00 AM

 
Blogger Falstaff said...

err..actually, I haven't met Geocities yet - I have been merely been offered a passing glimpse of her voluptuous wonders (who wants young and virginal anyway). On the contrary, your precious DoT, like the evil patriarch in some Hindi film plot is keeping us apart. How I yearn, how I pine, how eagerly I await the day when I shall be able to see my beloved Geocities again. *sobs. drinks unspecified amber liquid from bottle. breaks into song*

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 8:26:00 AM

 
Blogger dhoomketu said...

Lady Writer, Thanks. Looks like DoT got moved as well.

The Man, ..I.

Anon, Clearly you misunderstood the mail. I am all in support of such moves. It's the touts like you who misrepresent what I am trying to say.

Falstaff, the song is "Jab Dil hi toot gaya, tab Geo ke kya karen."

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:29:00 AM

 
Anonymous the man said...

...I.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 11:14:00 AM

 
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