Passenger profiling

If you travel as frequently as I do, then you would feel about this the same way.

One of the most irritating things about travelling is the insensitive and stupid fellow passengers. The ones who don't respect any rules, binge on free drinks and throw namkeen on the floor. The ones who would wait till the food trolley is between the aisles and then get up to go through the loos. The ones who would talk back rudely to air hostesses who ask them to wear their seatbelts in time.

The ones who would sneakily wear the seatbelts as loosely as possible, as if to prove a massive point, and take them off the moment the airplane takes off. The ones who would refuse to put their seatbacks upright, especially when you are eating. The ones who would actually move your hand luggage to some other bin to make space for their twenty kgs of alphonso mango crate or their half-yearly shopping of groceries. The ones who would not even do that and just crush your bag underneath the shopping.

The ones who would refuse to form lines anywhere, even when there's only space for one person to enter through the metal detector at one time. The ones who would crowd around the entrance of the bus taking you to the plane or from it, therefore, not letting others get on. Yes, these ones pain me the most.

Plus, the ones which really get my goat are those loud boorish individuals who need to make calls till the plane takes off. The ones whose phone get "Welcome to Cellphone Network" messages before the plane lands.

Actually while I am at this, let me also talk about the ones who take more than their share of sweets from the tray, hoard on imli golis, ensuring it gets over and all I am left with is Alpenliebe. The ones who talk loudly. The ones who bring suspiciously ill-mannered kids, who distract attention through their loud cries. The ones who snore on the plane, especially on red-eye flights, not letting you sleep a wink. The ones who put their large hands on the armrest, sometimes even encroaching into your seat, making sure that the entire flight feels like a sumo-wrestling match. The ones who put cotton in the ear, a singularly irritiating gesture. The ones on the window seat, who drink tea or coffee, and reach their cups out in front of the middle seat, putting the hapless passenger in danger of getting burned. The ones who take newspapers from every seat pocket and hoard them on their laps. The ones who make faces when asked to share them.

Just going by bad behaviour alone, they look like malignants. Cretins. Possible security threats (and I am not talking of hot coffee alone). Good things is that now, I know what to do with them. Put them in handcuffs like common criminals and treat them inhumanely.

Update: I forgot to mention one other kind of stupid men: Men who are dressed in shalwar kameez - traditional long shirts and baggy pants.